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the post in which Chibi becomes angry and smacks a bitch with the power of words
Hello DW! I've been meaning to post last week, but so many things happened, I just didn't have enough time to sit down and write it all down.
But anyway! First things first: hello new friends from F!S! It's a pleasure to meet all of you and I hope we become good friends! :D ♥ I'm just sorry that the first entry you see/read has to be this one, but after I write this down I will be all cheery and fandom-y, I promise! Also, feel free to skip if you're not interested.
Now. Remember my last entry, where I talked about my group assignment? I thought it was over and done with, but I was wrong: we actually had a fight between us for the marks - specifically S and I had a fight with M, the third girl who did nothing.
It all started two weeks ago. Since we couldn't finish our presentation in time (we needed exactly 10 more seconds and I will never forgive the lecturer for this), we lost a lot of points and the mark was lower than I expected. The lecturer gave us C1 and a pool of 45 marks that he then told us to assign to ourselves.
I already have big problems with this system. Why are you letting us assign the marks? It's like it's designed to have us fight over the marks. Also, it seems to me that the lecturer is just lazy and would rather leave the task to us instead of actually doing his job.
We had initially decided to split the marks equally, but when S and I realised that we would get a C1, which is a good passing grade, but it did not reflect even a little all the effort that we put into the presentation (and plus all the work I had to do in very little time to get my part done) and it did not seem fair to us. So, after speaking with the lecturer about the mark, Sara (I'll just call the girls by their names) proposed to us not to split the points equally and proposed that she and I get a B3 and Megan (the girl who did nothing) either a C1 or a C2, since she had done no work at all, but it was still a passing grade.
Needless to say, Megan got mad and started a drama that lasted until a couple of days ago. She said that it wasn't fair, that it was a group presentation and that we should all get the same marks.
So Sara and I pointed that yes, we exposed the presentation together, but we did not do it together; we definitely put different effort into it and Megan was the one who put the least effort into it (she did absolutely nothing. I wrote my part, which was the main part of the presentation, Sara wrote her part, which was the introduction and she wrote Megan's part as well; and, to be honest, I don't think Megan would have been able to write her own part since she never comes to the lectures/seminars and had absolutely no idea about the legal theories that we were using). The facts were quite clear really and there was no denying that she had done nothing.
But of course, she wouldn't accept the truth.
So you know what she started doing? She started LYING. To our faces.
She kept saying that she had contributed to the presentation by answering 3 questions (she did not; she answered 2 and I answered 2. I know because, surprise surprise!, I was there); she said that she had grammatically corrected her bit (but given that Sara and I are not English native-speakers, and we still did our share of the work, that's hardly contributing to the presentation itself); and finally she said that she had done research for the presentation, just that she didn't show it to us.
I don't know about you, but that sounds like bullshit to me.
And of course, she started evading questions and making up dumb excuses to cover her not-well-thought-through lies.
For example, when Sara and I demanded to see this research, she didn't show it to us. When we asked why she didn't show us her research before, she said it was because she didn't bring her laptop to the meeting on Friday (which is true); so we asked her why she didn't bring her laptop to the meeting if she knew that we were meeting to do a group assignment (that's just common sense) and at first she said the laptop was too heavy (yeah, right) and then later she replied (after spending days evading questions) that she thought we would be using the computers in the library, which also doesn't make sense, because computers are placed in cubicles and it makes it very difficult to do group work; also, even if she really thought we were going to use the computers in cubicles, she still didn't bring a USB stick with her research on it; she had only her phone and she was also texting while Sara was writing her part. Moreover, Sara and I pointed out that she could have sent her research on Facebook, which is where Sara and I were sending each other material and our parts for the presentation, but Megan never addressed this.
Megan also never addressed the fact that Sara was writing her bit right in front of her and Megan did not help her at all with it (as I said, she was completely unprepared on the subject we were discussing and on the legal theories/lecture notes). She also said that she had helped Sara writing the conclusion, which was again a lie, because I wrote the conclusion, not Sara, and Megan certainly did not help with that.
Lies upon lies upon lies. And incredibly stupid excuses to cover her lies. If you're going to lie, wouldn't you make sure that a) you are a good liar, and b) that your lies actually make sense so they can be believable? Also that the person you're lying to (me) was not standing right next to you when you say you were doing something that I saw you NOT do? I mean, seriously.
So of course I got mad. I absolutely hate it when people blatantly lie to me and evade questions. We pointed it out to her and she got all offended. When really, she didn't have any good arguments to start with. She also said we were being rude to her, when she wrote stuff to us like, "I took time out of my life [because I bet she has a really precious and important life, which involves getting drunk and being hungover half the time, amirite?] to read your silly messages." Our silly messages. She was lying to us, making up dumb excuses and she did not want to admit that she had done nothing, but we were the ones sending the "silly messages". Silly messages about important stuff like grades. Yeah.
So we let a couple of days pass. We wrote to the lecturer about this and he was even more disappointing. He started talking nonsense about "having to follow the rules" and he said that, if we decided to let him give each of us different grades, he would only base them on what he saw on the day of the presentation. Knowing that Sara and I put all the effort in and that Megan had done bugger all did not mean anything to him. The fact that me and Sara, two out of three members of the group, did not want equal marks, did also not count, because he said it wasn't fair on the third member of the group. Majority voting runs entire countries, but does not count for this little presentation in one university. Seems legit, right? /sarcasm
So a couple of days passed. We asked Megan if she had reconsidered by any chance and, of course, she hadn't, but she had apparently expected us to reconsider. So I tried a different approach. I told Megan to simply consider the facts of the story, which were that 1) she had not turned up for the first meeting on Thursday, which was everyone's responsibility to attend (instead she was hungover and sent us a message on Facebook two hours later saying she was in bed and couldn't come; why on Earth she chose to get wasted the day before our meeting still eludes me); 2) that she had not contributed in any way to the presentation; 3) that even if she had done her imaginary research, we did not use it for the presentation because she didn't show it to us, so it really didn't count at this point if she had done it or not; and 4) that Sara and I put an insane amount of effort into it (we searched cases, statutes, UK & EU law, read articles and I had to basically learn all the legal theories in a day and relate them to the issue that we had to discuss, namely the rights of the 'unborn child', and believe me, it was not easy; plus it was stressful as hell) and she could simply not say to have done the same. I even apologised to her if she felt I was being rude and asked her to consider simply the facts and ask herself whether it would be fair for us to get the same mark.
Well, she ignored everything. She said we were exaggerating, that we were making a big deal of the situation while all I did was point out the facts, and still tried to convince us that we deserved equal marks. We again pointed out that she didn't have any good arguments and the moment we did, she immediately wrote back, "I do not wish to speak about this anymore", again, ignoring our questions on purpose and acting extremely immaturely. We tried to confront her about it, to make her answer our questions, but she only came up with more stupid excuses. It was quite clear that talking to her was impossible.
She also started acting like a victim at some point, saying stuff like, "Oh, I wish I hadn't let you guys tell me that everything was done, I wish I had written my own part", etc. etc. Which just makes me laugh, because a) all she had to do was come to the freaking meeting on Thursday and it was her own freaking fault that she didn't come because she is an irresponsible drunk teenager; b) as I said before, she was totally unprepared on the subject of the presentation and didn't know anything that we had done in the lectures, so she couldn't have written her part either way; and c) when Sara was writing her part, Megan was RIGHT NEXT TO HER. All she had to do was talk to her and work together. She decided to text her friends instead. So no, you don't get to act like the victim here. Also, we asked her whether she would have preferred us to force her to write her part; needless to say she didn't answer.
So, in the end, we decided to go for equal marks. Sara and I were extremely sad, but it was better this way than letting the lecturer decide. (I would have hated it if Megan got a higher mark somehow.) We sent a final message to Megan. Sara decided to be polite, but I didn't. I told Megan everything I wanted to tell her: that she was the most immature person I had ever had "the pleasure" to work with; that if I'm ever put in the same group as her I will request a group change; that when I get a group assignment, I expect everyone in the group to pull their weight, be responsible and honest and to contribute to the work and she did none of the above; that her excuses were just pathetic; that she demanded respect and politeness (like a little princess), but she never showed Sara and I respect, nor politeness (again, another example of immaturity); and finally, I told her that she has a really promising career as a lawyer after this degree if, whenever someone points a contradiction in her argument, she stops speaking to them and lies or makes up stupid excuses to cover herself. This is what I told her, word for word, and she deserved every bit of my message.
So of course she replied. She had the nerve to tell us that we had "done the right choice" by splitting the mark equally, she said that we were the immature ones, that "her morals obviously clash with our lack thereof" and that she "refuses to work with people who are as utterly ridiculous and conniving as us both". And I'm quoting here.
So of course... I had to reply back and send her one last message. I'm pasting it here for your reading pleasure:
And then I blocked her and both Sara and I left the Facebook conversation, so that Megan could not reply to anyone. I just had to have the last word, I couldn't give her that pleasure. And I hope she's out there now, getting incredibly irritated by the fact that mine was the very final message and that she can never reply back. Boy, do I hope that. She deserves it.
It's worth noting that I'm not usually like this. You guys read my entries; you know how kind, patient, polite and cheerful I am. Megan just happened to bring out the worst of me. And when someone makes me angry, I become a lioness and as bitchy as Blair Waldorf from Gossip Girl.
Anyway, writing all of this down has taken me all morning, so that will be all for today. Since I'm now officially on holiday, expect more updates from me, especially about fandom stuff! :D
But anyway! First things first: hello new friends from F!S! It's a pleasure to meet all of you and I hope we become good friends! :D ♥ I'm just sorry that the first entry you see/read has to be this one, but after I write this down I will be all cheery and fandom-y, I promise! Also, feel free to skip if you're not interested.
Now. Remember my last entry, where I talked about my group assignment? I thought it was over and done with, but I was wrong: we actually had a fight between us for the marks - specifically S and I had a fight with M, the third girl who did nothing.
It all started two weeks ago. Since we couldn't finish our presentation in time (we needed exactly 10 more seconds and I will never forgive the lecturer for this), we lost a lot of points and the mark was lower than I expected. The lecturer gave us C1 and a pool of 45 marks that he then told us to assign to ourselves.
I already have big problems with this system. Why are you letting us assign the marks? It's like it's designed to have us fight over the marks. Also, it seems to me that the lecturer is just lazy and would rather leave the task to us instead of actually doing his job.
We had initially decided to split the marks equally, but when S and I realised that we would get a C1, which is a good passing grade, but it did not reflect even a little all the effort that we put into the presentation (and plus all the work I had to do in very little time to get my part done) and it did not seem fair to us. So, after speaking with the lecturer about the mark, Sara (I'll just call the girls by their names) proposed to us not to split the points equally and proposed that she and I get a B3 and Megan (the girl who did nothing) either a C1 or a C2, since she had done no work at all, but it was still a passing grade.
Needless to say, Megan got mad and started a drama that lasted until a couple of days ago. She said that it wasn't fair, that it was a group presentation and that we should all get the same marks.
So Sara and I pointed that yes, we exposed the presentation together, but we did not do it together; we definitely put different effort into it and Megan was the one who put the least effort into it (she did absolutely nothing. I wrote my part, which was the main part of the presentation, Sara wrote her part, which was the introduction and she wrote Megan's part as well; and, to be honest, I don't think Megan would have been able to write her own part since she never comes to the lectures/seminars and had absolutely no idea about the legal theories that we were using). The facts were quite clear really and there was no denying that she had done nothing.
But of course, she wouldn't accept the truth.
So you know what she started doing? She started LYING. To our faces.
She kept saying that she had contributed to the presentation by answering 3 questions (she did not; she answered 2 and I answered 2. I know because, surprise surprise!, I was there); she said that she had grammatically corrected her bit (but given that Sara and I are not English native-speakers, and we still did our share of the work, that's hardly contributing to the presentation itself); and finally she said that she had done research for the presentation, just that she didn't show it to us.
I don't know about you, but that sounds like bullshit to me.
And of course, she started evading questions and making up dumb excuses to cover her not-well-thought-through lies.
For example, when Sara and I demanded to see this research, she didn't show it to us. When we asked why she didn't show us her research before, she said it was because she didn't bring her laptop to the meeting on Friday (which is true); so we asked her why she didn't bring her laptop to the meeting if she knew that we were meeting to do a group assignment (that's just common sense) and at first she said the laptop was too heavy (yeah, right) and then later she replied (after spending days evading questions) that she thought we would be using the computers in the library, which also doesn't make sense, because computers are placed in cubicles and it makes it very difficult to do group work; also, even if she really thought we were going to use the computers in cubicles, she still didn't bring a USB stick with her research on it; she had only her phone and she was also texting while Sara was writing her part. Moreover, Sara and I pointed out that she could have sent her research on Facebook, which is where Sara and I were sending each other material and our parts for the presentation, but Megan never addressed this.
Megan also never addressed the fact that Sara was writing her bit right in front of her and Megan did not help her at all with it (as I said, she was completely unprepared on the subject we were discussing and on the legal theories/lecture notes). She also said that she had helped Sara writing the conclusion, which was again a lie, because I wrote the conclusion, not Sara, and Megan certainly did not help with that.
Lies upon lies upon lies. And incredibly stupid excuses to cover her lies. If you're going to lie, wouldn't you make sure that a) you are a good liar, and b) that your lies actually make sense so they can be believable? Also that the person you're lying to (me) was not standing right next to you when you say you were doing something that I saw you NOT do? I mean, seriously.
So of course I got mad. I absolutely hate it when people blatantly lie to me and evade questions. We pointed it out to her and she got all offended. When really, she didn't have any good arguments to start with. She also said we were being rude to her, when she wrote stuff to us like, "I took time out of my life [because I bet she has a really precious and important life, which involves getting drunk and being hungover half the time, amirite?] to read your silly messages." Our silly messages. She was lying to us, making up dumb excuses and she did not want to admit that she had done nothing, but we were the ones sending the "silly messages". Silly messages about important stuff like grades. Yeah.
So we let a couple of days pass. We wrote to the lecturer about this and he was even more disappointing. He started talking nonsense about "having to follow the rules" and he said that, if we decided to let him give each of us different grades, he would only base them on what he saw on the day of the presentation. Knowing that Sara and I put all the effort in and that Megan had done bugger all did not mean anything to him. The fact that me and Sara, two out of three members of the group, did not want equal marks, did also not count, because he said it wasn't fair on the third member of the group. Majority voting runs entire countries, but does not count for this little presentation in one university. Seems legit, right? /sarcasm
So a couple of days passed. We asked Megan if she had reconsidered by any chance and, of course, she hadn't, but she had apparently expected us to reconsider. So I tried a different approach. I told Megan to simply consider the facts of the story, which were that 1) she had not turned up for the first meeting on Thursday, which was everyone's responsibility to attend (instead she was hungover and sent us a message on Facebook two hours later saying she was in bed and couldn't come; why on Earth she chose to get wasted the day before our meeting still eludes me); 2) that she had not contributed in any way to the presentation; 3) that even if she had done her imaginary research, we did not use it for the presentation because she didn't show it to us, so it really didn't count at this point if she had done it or not; and 4) that Sara and I put an insane amount of effort into it (we searched cases, statutes, UK & EU law, read articles and I had to basically learn all the legal theories in a day and relate them to the issue that we had to discuss, namely the rights of the 'unborn child', and believe me, it was not easy; plus it was stressful as hell) and she could simply not say to have done the same. I even apologised to her if she felt I was being rude and asked her to consider simply the facts and ask herself whether it would be fair for us to get the same mark.
Well, she ignored everything. She said we were exaggerating, that we were making a big deal of the situation while all I did was point out the facts, and still tried to convince us that we deserved equal marks. We again pointed out that she didn't have any good arguments and the moment we did, she immediately wrote back, "I do not wish to speak about this anymore", again, ignoring our questions on purpose and acting extremely immaturely. We tried to confront her about it, to make her answer our questions, but she only came up with more stupid excuses. It was quite clear that talking to her was impossible.
She also started acting like a victim at some point, saying stuff like, "Oh, I wish I hadn't let you guys tell me that everything was done, I wish I had written my own part", etc. etc. Which just makes me laugh, because a) all she had to do was come to the freaking meeting on Thursday and it was her own freaking fault that she didn't come because she is an irresponsible drunk teenager; b) as I said before, she was totally unprepared on the subject of the presentation and didn't know anything that we had done in the lectures, so she couldn't have written her part either way; and c) when Sara was writing her part, Megan was RIGHT NEXT TO HER. All she had to do was talk to her and work together. She decided to text her friends instead. So no, you don't get to act like the victim here. Also, we asked her whether she would have preferred us to force her to write her part; needless to say she didn't answer.
So, in the end, we decided to go for equal marks. Sara and I were extremely sad, but it was better this way than letting the lecturer decide. (I would have hated it if Megan got a higher mark somehow.) We sent a final message to Megan. Sara decided to be polite, but I didn't. I told Megan everything I wanted to tell her: that she was the most immature person I had ever had "the pleasure" to work with; that if I'm ever put in the same group as her I will request a group change; that when I get a group assignment, I expect everyone in the group to pull their weight, be responsible and honest and to contribute to the work and she did none of the above; that her excuses were just pathetic; that she demanded respect and politeness (like a little princess), but she never showed Sara and I respect, nor politeness (again, another example of immaturity); and finally, I told her that she has a really promising career as a lawyer after this degree if, whenever someone points a contradiction in her argument, she stops speaking to them and lies or makes up stupid excuses to cover herself. This is what I told her, word for word, and she deserved every bit of my message.
So of course she replied. She had the nerve to tell us that we had "done the right choice" by splitting the mark equally, she said that we were the immature ones, that "her morals obviously clash with our lack thereof" and that she "refuses to work with people who are as utterly ridiculous and conniving as us both". And I'm quoting here.
So of course... I had to reply back and send her one last message. I'm pasting it here for your reading pleasure:
Your last message was exactly what I expected of you, Megan... and I do not mean it as a compliment. It seems that everything we say to you goes into one ear and comes out of the other, but I guess it can’t be helped. Immature people don’t want to be called immature, and instead they call other people immature because they can’t cope with it. Yes, our morals indeed clash: yours involve not doing work in a group assignment and acting like a precious little snowflake; Sara and I are not like that at all. I’m sorry we had to split the marks equally and that you got a C1 without doing any work, but don’t worry, life is not always kind like that, especially not to people like you. Soon you’ll notice. I’ll be sleeping peacefully every night, however, knowing that at least you got the same grade as us, and not a better grade. I’m just sorry I took so much time out of my life to read your silly and ridiculous messages. They truly make me laugh, though. You’re just lucky we had our coversation on facebook and not face-to-face, otherwise we would have kicked your ass with our arguments; not that we didn’t, but avoiding questions is way easier on facebook than it is in real life.
If you’re thinking of replying to this, don’t even bother. I already know what you’ll reply and I advise you not to write to us anymore, unless you want to look dumber that you already do and lose all the (very little, mind you) respect I have for you. I’m also blocking you, so I’m afraid your reply will not reach me.
Have fun partying and being hungover. I wonder if you’ll have some brain cells left at the end of the degree after all that alcohol. Goodbye.
And then I blocked her and both Sara and I left the Facebook conversation, so that Megan could not reply to anyone. I just had to have the last word, I couldn't give her that pleasure. And I hope she's out there now, getting incredibly irritated by the fact that mine was the very final message and that she can never reply back. Boy, do I hope that. She deserves it.
It's worth noting that I'm not usually like this. You guys read my entries; you know how kind, patient, polite and cheerful I am. Megan just happened to bring out the worst of me. And when someone makes me angry, I become a lioness and as bitchy as Blair Waldorf from Gossip Girl.
Anyway, writing all of this down has taken me all morning, so that will be all for today. Since I'm now officially on holiday, expect more updates from me, especially about fandom stuff! :D
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Mi spiace che tu abbia dovuto lavorare con gente simile e che sia dovuta scendere a compromessi (complimenti a quello che si è lavato le mani dicendo "O 3 voti uguali o decido io,ma non in base all'impegno ma alla presentazione") ma lasciami dire che da questa situazione ne sei uscita a testa alta e vincitrice!!
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Oh man, I am SO MAD on your behalf. Which I know is ridiculous, as there's nothing I can do, but ugh.
I like your description of yourself becoming like a lioness when you're angry, though. That's brilliant.
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*HUGS* I'm sorry you had to go through such an annoying period just for a group project! These people are obviously not worth any effort. D:
*MAJOR HUGS*
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On the plus side, at least you've dealt with her. *snugs* And that she had that reality check. What's the point of paying and going to university if you're not even going to try and work hard? Ugh.
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It seems like this was quite an experience, uh? *offers hugs if welcome*
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I have no idea what's wrong with the lecturer. He said that if this kind of thing happened in every group, then he would never hear the end of it. Well, the idea of making us do a group assignment was his in the first place and this kind of thing does happen when doing group work, so he should just accept responsibility as a teacher and deal with it. Or, if he doesn't want to, he should at least allow majority voting.
Seriously, this system is just horrible. (And that's what we told him in the email as well.)
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Ugh, group work. it's the worst.
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Guarda, il professore mi ha davvero delusa sotto questo aspetto! Non può lavarsene le mani così... Ha deciso lui di farci lavorare in gruppo ed è un dato di fatto che queste cose succedono, che ne prenda atto! O almeno che permetta alla maggioranza di decidere il voto... perché così com'è il sistema fa acqua da tutte le parti!
Comunque grazie cara! ♥ Io ci ho provato davvero in tutti i modi ad essere gentile con questa ragazza, ma lei non lo è stata affatto e mi ha dato troppo sui nervi!
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I know, I was so mad at this girl, too! I couldn't stop myself from writing what I wrote. But at least she got my final message and she can never talk to me again!
Haha, thanks! :D My starsign is actually Leo, so I like to think that I become a lioness when I'm angry!
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At least it's over now and I can relax!
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Thanks! *hugs back* I just had to write that final message, you know? She just made me so mad. And yes, she was in serious need of a reality check. The fact that she did not do anything for the presentation actually does not play in her favour, because she will have to know those legal theories for the exam. Ah, well, whatever suits her.
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*hugs back* Yeah, I can't remember the last time I was so mad at someone. Sometimes I ask myself if I was too harsh on the girl, but then I remember that she called me such things as "ridiculous" and "immature" and she did not even apologise... and then I don't feel bad anymore. XD
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Uni does have the habit of wittling numbers down at the end of the year when it becomes apparant of who was in it for a ride. I wouldn't be surprised if she didn't go back next year.