chibichan: → illustration (misc » petals falling)
I've been having very weird dreams recently. dreams )

As you know, I had a session with my physiotherapist two days ago. It was painful. My muscles were so tense and I had accumulated so much stress in the past few months. When she pushed down on my left psoas, a lot of the stress got released. My head started pulsing, I had to drink some water and lie down on my side until I was feeling better. It was a very intense session and one that I really needed. When I went back to Andrew's house, I had dinner, a hot bath and then just went straight to bed. I am feeling better now and my psoas muscles definitely don't hurt as much anymore. I am very glad I had this session.

I downloaded a bunch of web design/programming books yesterday. They're mostly about HTML5, CSS3, PHP and MySQL, plus a few on Photoshop. I already know HTML and CSS, and can already use Photoshop well enough to make layouts for my websites, but I really want to expand my knowledge. If I have to be honest, I'm not sure if I want to become a web designer. I enjoy designing websites and coding them, sure. But would I be able to do it as a job? Also, my biggest fear is having a creative block and not being able to come up with a design. I have creative blocks randomly with my own websites and sometimes I just can't come up with a layout for various months. And will I be able to come up with a creative design for every website I'll have to work on?

At the moment I'm very torn between a computing course in Perth (where they teach programming and that kind of stuff) or a Journalism degree. I think the latter would be safer and possibly the one I would need the most if I decided to become a writer for a magazine; while for web design, even if you're self-taught, the only thing that really matters is having a good portfolio to show off your skills. A degree helps, of course, but if you show what you can do, then not having a degree would not play at your disadvantage so much. Technically I wouldn't need a degree to become a writer either, but it would be just safer to have it for that particular field. At least that's what I think.

I will write an entry on what I'm reading/playing next time. Right now I feel like I've written enough. Thanks for all your replies on my fandom discussion post! That was fun. :)
chibichan: → ice cream (stock » camera)
First of all, thank you guys so much for all your lovely comments on my last entry! They really made me feel better about my possible choice of dropping out of my degree course.

I've emailed my advisor of studies, but she's on holiday and she won't be back to Scotland until next week. Which puts me in a very awkward position, because my first resit is on Friday and I really hoped I could have talked to her before my exams, so I would have gotten a clearer idea of whether I want to keep going with this degree (which at the moment seems very unlikely) or not and thus chosen whether to actually attempt my resits or not. Not that it would have made much of a difference - I'm not prepared for my resits, as I don't understand the stuff and can't answer problem questions, so the chances of me passing my resits are low. But if I had talked to my advisor of studies before the resits and decided to drop out, I could have spared having to take exams. Because the fact that I need to take exams + the fact that I know I won't be able to pass them is stressing me quite a lot. Again, more useless and unhealthy stress. I'm really just doing my resits to show that 'at least I tried' if my advisor of studies should ask. But yeah, these exams are not going to go well.

Another thing that is worrying me about my resits is the fact that I might have to redo second year if I don't pass them. If there's one thing I know for certain, is that I don't want to re-study and re-do a property law exam. Ever. Again. So, if it does turn out that I might have to pass second year again, I'll most likely drop out.

So, I've been looking at other choices recently. I've been looking mostly into becoming a professional photographer. I found the Glasgow School of Art and I'm going to get more information on it and its courses. The courses I'd be interested in would be Fine Art Photography and Digital Culture. I obviously will have to look more into them and I do intend to meet someone from the school and have a chat with them about both courses, because I really want to get an idea of what they're like. (I sent an email, but I guess they must be closed for holidays or something, because they haven't replied yet.) I'll have to do a portfolio, but I wanted to make a portfolio anyway, so this will be a good occasion to make one. I have taken over 1,000 photos, so there must be something in there worth showing.

Which brings me to another request I have for you guys. I'm looking for feedback on my photos and I'm trying to figure out which ones are most likely to impress and that I should put on my portfolio. If you guys feel like being photography critics, my Flickr account is skymistress. I also tried out a free portfolio website (I'm not going to use it, I'm going to build my own portfolio, since I know web design, so I can show my web designing skills as well), just to get an idea of what I would like my portfolio to look like and what photos I'd put in it and here is a 'prototype', if you will. I'm also thinking of offering paid (but very cheap!) web design work to friends and family in the near future, so if any of you guys are interested in having a website, but know nothing of web design and would like someone to do the 'dirty work' for you, don't hesitate to ask! :) This way I'll get an idea of what working for other people is like and if I'd actually like to do it for a living.

While I was making this 'portfolio prototype', I also realised that I would love to be a photographer for a magazine. I love taking pictures of animals, nature, landscapes, cities and even fashion and people. I would also like to be a writer for a magazine. (I am planning my own books as well, and have started writing them, but I don't see myself finishing them any time soon. I need inspiration and more ideas.) I'm still not sure at this point if I would like to pursue web design as an actual career (I'll test it out when I offer my web design services that I mentioned above), but the option is there. These are just three options that come to my mind at the moment, but the idea of possibly going into one of these fields is making me so excited! I don't think I've ever been as excited about being a lawyer.

I guess... I've always been scared of actually deciding to pursue a career as a photographer or a writer or a web designer, because I've always been scared of failing. I love the idea of being freelance (or even to work for a specific magazine), but I guess I just decided it wasn't worth taking a risk for. Like trying would be more a hassle than an actual accomplishment. My ever present self-doubt also played a part in it, because I didn't think I was good enough to turn my hobbies into work (but anyone who has made a job out of their hobbies at some point thought they weren't good enough to make it; but those who believe in themselves, work hard and don't give up easily do make it). And I kept myself 'in check' from the temptation of building a portfolio and researching how to be any of these things by thinking about my degree and how I would have gotten more of a stable job by sticking with it. Because ultimately that's how I thought of my degree: I'll do it because I need to have a job. But a job doesn't necessarily have to be outside of my hobbies. And even if I don't get the "job of my dreams", as long as I have a job that pays the rent and the food and allows me to spend time on the stuff that I really love, then it's perfectly fine. It's written nowhere that I should suffer like this just to get a 'high-paying', 'stable', outside-of-my-hobbies job.

Looking back at what exactly made me choose Law, I guess it was mostly for social status and the money. I do have a sense of justice and I liked to think I would have 'made a difference' once I became a lawyer. Don't know exactly what that meant and what I wanted to make a difference in; I just thought I wanted to be someone or do something important. It's hard to explain and I guess it's because I hadn't really thought about it that much. I don't even know why or how exactly I came to the conclusion that I wanted to be a lawyer. I swear I used to be so confident in my choice; and now I sound like a total idiot who was in it just for the money.

Anyway. This was just a very short update to let you guys know what's happening and what is going through my head at the moment. If you could leave me some feedback on my photos, I'd really appreciate it! :D (But don't feel like you have to do it! Just if you feel like it.) And hopefully the next entry will be full of good news.

P.S. I think about getting a job as a photographer so much, that last night I dreamed of getting a new, super-fancy camera. XD
chibichan: → ice cream (doctor who » mad man with a box)
I am here again! I seriously need to go back to updating my LJ more. I will do that, I promise!

Anyway. I am here today for a very important reason. That is, I NEED TO FANGIRL ABOUT MY NEW FANDOM - SHERLOCK. ANYBODY WANT TO JOIN ME? ♥

Spoilers, capslock & hearts. Yes, this is, indeed, a fangirling session about Sherlock. )

I've also watched Sherlock Holmes with Robert Downey Jr and Jude Law and I loved it! ♥ And you know what I just noticed? That all these actors that I love are doing something related to Sherlock Holmes. RDJ has done a movie, Benedict Cumberbatch is doing the BBC series... I wonder if some other actor will join in? XD It's like they all want me to read the books and get into the SH fandom. WELL IT'S WORKING

Ahem. Well, I believe I've fangirled enough for now. XD Oh, and I still need to go see the new Pirates of the Caribbean movie. By the way, I noticed recently that I'm waiting for a lot of movies to be released. I'm waiting for Iron Man 3, The Avengers, Harry Potter: The Deathly Hallows Part II, The Dark Knight Rises, Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows and, last but not least, The Hobbit by Peter Jackson! ♥ Oh my gosh, I'm so happy that Peter Jackson will be directing this movie! He's such a talented director and by far my favourite! ♥ ♥ Also, did I mention that Martin Freeman and Benedict Cumberbatch are going to be in it, as well?! SO MANY AWESOME MOVIES WITH SO MANY AWESOME PEOPLE, I DON'T EVEN. JUST. BRAIN CANNOT COPE.

On another fandom note, LEVERAGE IS BACK. ♥ ♥ ♥ I missed this show so much. I missed the awesome actors, ad well as the fantastic interaction between the characters. And the Nate/Sophie, oh gosh, I LOVE THIS PAIRING TO PIECES. ♥ Also, both Sterling and Tara are coming back in this season and I'm so happy about it, I love all the characters and I wish all of them would always be on the show. The plot is also going to be very interesting, as apparently someone is out to get the team... I can't wait for the next episodes!! ♥

And this somehow brings me to the point that... I had two dreams about Leverage. And one of them was the best dream ever.

Cut for dreams. )

Oh, and by the way. I WANT A LEVERAGE/SHERLOCK CROSSOVER. I know it's never gonna happen, but I seriously want to see those two series collide. Imagine the reactions of the various characters! It would be awesome. Although I think Christian Kane and Benedict Cumberbatch in the same scene would be too much for the tv to handle. Heck, ALL the actors in the same scene would be too much awesome to handle! ... That's why I started writing a Leverage/Sherlock crossover fic. XD By the looks of it, it's gonna be a multi-chapter fic and right now the prologue is done and I'm starting to write chapter 1. Who knows when/if I'll be able to publish it? I hope I can do it soon, but first I'll need to write at least a few chapters. Wish me luck! :D

Well, that's it for this incoherent fandom post. XD I still need to comment the season finale of Gossip Girl, which, to my surprise, I actually enjoyed a lot. ♥

And I will reply to your comments, guys! I'm just... really slow at it. /headdesk
chibichan: → hikaru (mkr » you'll be in my heart)
Hiya, guys! :D Today I went to the oculist and I found out something curious about myself. It looks like my eyes can see/read better when the lights are on in a room, rather than when they're off. My oculist said there's a specific scientific explanation for that (... I feel like I'm talking like Ema Skye from Gyakuten Saiban/Phoenix Wright, lol XD) - my pupil can see better when it's narrowed. (... I hope that's clear, I don't know the proper scientific term in English. XD;) Ha! Who would have thought. XD Thank goodness, my eyesight has not gotten terribly worse, I just need to wear contacts 8 hours a day and then go back to wearing glasses for the rest of the day. Not too bad. :3

Also, my oculist is made of win. XD He's a really funny man. He's always calling me things like, 'little lady' (signorina in Italian) and he's always polite and nice. He tells a lot of jokes, too. XD And he always tells me that I'm 'perfect', because I wear both contacts and glasses and I always do what he tells me to do. XD He's such a gentleman.

I do have to change glasses, however. This time I'm going to choose a pair of glasses that I really like, so I won't feel embarrassed when I wear them. XD (I'm so used to wearing contacts that I can't recognize myself anymore when I wear glasses, lol /fail)

On another note... CAN I STOP HAVING WEIRD DREAMS, KTHX. fandoms overload! )

And now... current obsessions meme! Since everybody's doing it~ :D Feel free to snag this meme, if you want to~ :3

15 things I'm obsessed with )
chibichan: → sailor moon (bssm » fighting evil by the moonlight)
Hey there, guys! :D It's been a while. School has started and my life is back to normal - having tons of work to do, countless tests & freaking out about an oral German exam called 'Sprachdiplom'. Yeah, that's currently my life in a nutshell. XD; I'm trying to update my journal more and also to keep up with your updates, but I guess I'll be staying on a semi-hiatus until the end of the semester, when I will not be so loaded with work. It's just two weeks, I can survive, right? Right?

I was originally going to talk about something that happened today at school that kinda ruined my whole day, but then I realized this is the first entry of 2010 and I don't want to write anything bad on the first entry of 2010. Maybe next time, when I won't be so bothered by it anymore.

I've had a couple of weird dreams for the past couple of days. Too bad I don't remember them now. They involved some real-life people and maybe some characters from either a game or a manga, but I wouldn't be too sure about that... Oh, well.

So yeah, pointless entry is pointless. I just wanted to say that I'm still alive and kicking! :D or rather, being kicked by school. I hope you're all doing well. ♥

Also, totally unrelated, but... Gossip Girl is going to be turned into a manga? Really? I actually don't know if I should be excited or not. I mean, I love reading manga and I love the show, but I also love the actors on the show and they look completely different in the manga... well, at least Chuck and Blair do and I really love how Ed and Leighton portray them in the show, so... oh, well, I'll just have to look for more info and then decide whether I'm going to read it or not. Although I think I might end up reading it just to see what Nate looks like plus the Chuck/Blair fanservice. <3

June 2015

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