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of disney and rants
I think I found a solution for my "too many icons" problem. Every day, from now on, I'm going to remove an icon that I don't use as much as other icons and replace it with a new icon. That way this process will not take me too much time every day and I can do it without pressure. :)
Andrew and I watched The Hunchback of Notre Dame today in Italian (with Italian subtitles for Andrew). He couldn't completely understand it, but he got the gist of what was happening and, for the way they were talking, it shows that he's getting pretty good. I downloaded the film in Blu-Ray because it was one of the few copies that had it in both languages and with subtitles and HOLY COW BLU-RAY IS AMAZING. I had watched Hunchback many times, but never in Blu-Ray and it was stunning. I NEED MORE DISNEY FILMS ON BLU-RAY. Anyway, he enjoyed it and thought it had very strong themes for children. That's why it's one of my favourite Disney films. It definitely doesn't speak down to kids, it's brutal and scary at times, but it's nothing children can't handle. Also, its music is just amazing. I love it so much.
In other news, it looks like I won't live in Dundee this year. I had a room rented with an establishment outside of university and apparently they do not want people who are not students to live in their buildings. However, apparently they're perfectly okay with taking money out of you to pay for the rent even if you can't live there.
Basically it's the policy of this place to only host current university students. I'm taking the year out, so technically I'm not a student anymore. I called the place today to see if they would still let me rent the room, so that I could work in Dundee for the time being, but they won't accept non-students. So I cancelled my accommodation with them. They said they would give me back my deposit in full, which is good. But there is a catch. The catch is, if they and I don't find anyone that can fill my room before the tenancy starts (2nd of September), then I'm going to have to pay rent for the room, until either they or I find a person to put in there. So I could end up paying rent, for a place I'm not living in, for the whole year.
It's obvious that I'm just not in a position to be wasting money like that. I wouldn't mind if I was actually living in the flat, but paying for an empty room? I would have gladly stayed there to get a job in Dundee and would have gladly payed the rent for it. But they want me to be a student. So I don't fit their criteria for living in the place, but they don't mind taking my money for my empty room.
The lady on the phone said that they should be able to fill my room for me. I don't know anyone in Dundee who would like to take my room - everyone in my class has already found a place to stay way earlier in the year. So I'm really hoping they find someone. It shouldn't be too hard for them - they should have students still applying for places to stay.
Anyway. I'm slightly ticked off about this. Hopefully they'll be able to fill my room for me. To be honest, I'd rather pay a cancellation fee now than pay the whole freaking rent. But apparently they don't have cancellation fees, they'd rather make sure they took all your money, rather than just part of it. Ugh. I'm sounding really nasty at the moment, but it's just because I'm angry. I don't want to pin the blame on myself for this. When I applied for this place, I didn't know I was going to take the year out, to decide to stop my degree, etc. and how was I even supposed to know? I always blame myself for the stupidest things, but I've decided I'm not going to do that anymore, at least not when I can help it.
On Saturday, I messaged my mom via whatsapp to decide what to do about the place. (We decided to keep it so that I could find a job, but I've already written about how I can't do that.) But while we were talking, she said something that ticked me off quite a lot.
We were talking about work and she was being condescending to me. I was telling her I was going to find a job in Dundee (now I can't because I don't have a place to stay) and I was going to give my CV to some shops and cafés in order to find work. At first she was being, "You must find work right now" and "Are you still preparing your CV?", with a very condescending tone. Just so you know, I've had a CV for two years now, so that already ticked me off. So I told her my CV was ready and she asked, "Did you send it somewhere or is it still sitting in your computer?". I haven't sent it to anyone for obvious reasons: 1) I still needed to figure out if I could rent the room or not, because finding a job in Dundee would be pointless if I couldn't live there; and 2) my plan was to physically go to shops and leave my CV there, plus go around the city looking for places who are currently hiring; and, because I'm not living in Dundee right now and Dundee is 40 minutes away by car and I don't have a car, which means I'd have to take the bus from Andrew's town into Perth and the train from Perth to Dundee, it would have made more sense to settle in the room first and then go around looking for a job. And still my mom was being condescending, so that ticked me off even more.
(Also, on a side note, can you see how she's trying to find something that I'm doing wrong in order to scold me? She couldn't attack me about the CV, because I had already done it, and so she went on asking if I had sent it anywhere, even though she knew full well that the room was still a big question mark. If I had told her I had given my CV around, I bet she would have asked me if I looked presentable to employers. Does she think I'm still a child? Does she just take pleasure into scolding me or telling me stuff that I already know with a condescending tone? I just don't know, but I hate it when she does that.)
But then she told me something that just completely pissed me off. Here's how the conversation went, after I told her that I was going to check the room on Monday:
This whole conversation just pissed me off so much.
Firstly, it's pointless to tell me to be decisive. I'm guessing she was telling me to look decisive to job employers, but how the hell do you do that by just handing in a CV? How do you "decisively" hand in a CV or ask for a job? This just sounds ridiculous. So maybe she was telling me to be decisive about my next course. Which is fair enough, but I don't need to be told that. Believe me, I really want to find something that I will enjoy doing, because I know how miserable you can get by studying something you don't like. I'm not going to make the same mistake again. And even if I try something out and decide it's not for me, that's not the most horrible thing in the world, so why does my mom act like it is? I understand she cares about me, doesn't want me to do something I don't like again and yadda yadda yadda, but seriously, she shows her concern for me in all the wrong ways.
Also, telling me to be decisive will not make me decisive. It's just applying useless pressure on me that I don't need. If I'm torn between a few courses at the moment, telling me to be more decisive is just stupid; I'm not going to snap my fingers and decide what I want to do, I need to actually take my time to think about it and make a well-thought through decision.
And secondly, I would like to point out that, even though it turned out to be the wrong choice, I was very decisive about Law. And look how it all went. You can be decisive all you want about something, doesn't mean it's necessarily the right choice! Just like being decisive about wanting a job will not mean that I will get a job.
My mom just uses the word "decisive" without even thinking about it. She just wants to scold me. And ugh does she make me mad.
That's enough for one entry. I'm off to download more Disney films on Blu-Ray. Hopefully I will receive some good news about the place, otherwise I'm not going to be happy.
Andrew and I watched The Hunchback of Notre Dame today in Italian (with Italian subtitles for Andrew). He couldn't completely understand it, but he got the gist of what was happening and, for the way they were talking, it shows that he's getting pretty good. I downloaded the film in Blu-Ray because it was one of the few copies that had it in both languages and with subtitles and HOLY COW BLU-RAY IS AMAZING. I had watched Hunchback many times, but never in Blu-Ray and it was stunning. I NEED MORE DISNEY FILMS ON BLU-RAY. Anyway, he enjoyed it and thought it had very strong themes for children. That's why it's one of my favourite Disney films. It definitely doesn't speak down to kids, it's brutal and scary at times, but it's nothing children can't handle. Also, its music is just amazing. I love it so much.
In other news, it looks like I won't live in Dundee this year. I had a room rented with an establishment outside of university and apparently they do not want people who are not students to live in their buildings. However, apparently they're perfectly okay with taking money out of you to pay for the rent even if you can't live there.
Basically it's the policy of this place to only host current university students. I'm taking the year out, so technically I'm not a student anymore. I called the place today to see if they would still let me rent the room, so that I could work in Dundee for the time being, but they won't accept non-students. So I cancelled my accommodation with them. They said they would give me back my deposit in full, which is good. But there is a catch. The catch is, if they and I don't find anyone that can fill my room before the tenancy starts (2nd of September), then I'm going to have to pay rent for the room, until either they or I find a person to put in there. So I could end up paying rent, for a place I'm not living in, for the whole year.
It's obvious that I'm just not in a position to be wasting money like that. I wouldn't mind if I was actually living in the flat, but paying for an empty room? I would have gladly stayed there to get a job in Dundee and would have gladly payed the rent for it. But they want me to be a student. So I don't fit their criteria for living in the place, but they don't mind taking my money for my empty room.
The lady on the phone said that they should be able to fill my room for me. I don't know anyone in Dundee who would like to take my room - everyone in my class has already found a place to stay way earlier in the year. So I'm really hoping they find someone. It shouldn't be too hard for them - they should have students still applying for places to stay.
Anyway. I'm slightly ticked off about this. Hopefully they'll be able to fill my room for me. To be honest, I'd rather pay a cancellation fee now than pay the whole freaking rent. But apparently they don't have cancellation fees, they'd rather make sure they took all your money, rather than just part of it. Ugh. I'm sounding really nasty at the moment, but it's just because I'm angry. I don't want to pin the blame on myself for this. When I applied for this place, I didn't know I was going to take the year out, to decide to stop my degree, etc. and how was I even supposed to know? I always blame myself for the stupidest things, but I've decided I'm not going to do that anymore, at least not when I can help it.
On Saturday, I messaged my mom via whatsapp to decide what to do about the place. (We decided to keep it so that I could find a job, but I've already written about how I can't do that.) But while we were talking, she said something that ticked me off quite a lot.
We were talking about work and she was being condescending to me. I was telling her I was going to find a job in Dundee (now I can't because I don't have a place to stay) and I was going to give my CV to some shops and cafés in order to find work. At first she was being, "You must find work right now" and "Are you still preparing your CV?", with a very condescending tone. Just so you know, I've had a CV for two years now, so that already ticked me off. So I told her my CV was ready and she asked, "Did you send it somewhere or is it still sitting in your computer?". I haven't sent it to anyone for obvious reasons: 1) I still needed to figure out if I could rent the room or not, because finding a job in Dundee would be pointless if I couldn't live there; and 2) my plan was to physically go to shops and leave my CV there, plus go around the city looking for places who are currently hiring; and, because I'm not living in Dundee right now and Dundee is 40 minutes away by car and I don't have a car, which means I'd have to take the bus from Andrew's town into Perth and the train from Perth to Dundee, it would have made more sense to settle in the room first and then go around looking for a job. And still my mom was being condescending, so that ticked me off even more.
(Also, on a side note, can you see how she's trying to find something that I'm doing wrong in order to scold me? She couldn't attack me about the CV, because I had already done it, and so she went on asking if I had sent it anywhere, even though she knew full well that the room was still a big question mark. If I had told her I had given my CV around, I bet she would have asked me if I looked presentable to employers. Does she think I'm still a child? Does she just take pleasure into scolding me or telling me stuff that I already know with a condescending tone? I just don't know, but I hate it when she does that.)
But then she told me something that just completely pissed me off. Here's how the conversation went, after I told her that I was going to check the room on Monday:
Mom: Ok, start doing something constructive and don't just talk about doing it. [more condescending tone, ticking me off even more] But you must be more decisive.
Me: I am decisive.
Mom: Apparently you're not if you did two years of law and you weren't sure about it a year ago.
This whole conversation just pissed me off so much.
Firstly, it's pointless to tell me to be decisive. I'm guessing she was telling me to look decisive to job employers, but how the hell do you do that by just handing in a CV? How do you "decisively" hand in a CV or ask for a job? This just sounds ridiculous. So maybe she was telling me to be decisive about my next course. Which is fair enough, but I don't need to be told that. Believe me, I really want to find something that I will enjoy doing, because I know how miserable you can get by studying something you don't like. I'm not going to make the same mistake again. And even if I try something out and decide it's not for me, that's not the most horrible thing in the world, so why does my mom act like it is? I understand she cares about me, doesn't want me to do something I don't like again and yadda yadda yadda, but seriously, she shows her concern for me in all the wrong ways.
Also, telling me to be decisive will not make me decisive. It's just applying useless pressure on me that I don't need. If I'm torn between a few courses at the moment, telling me to be more decisive is just stupid; I'm not going to snap my fingers and decide what I want to do, I need to actually take my time to think about it and make a well-thought through decision.
And secondly, I would like to point out that, even though it turned out to be the wrong choice, I was very decisive about Law. And look how it all went. You can be decisive all you want about something, doesn't mean it's necessarily the right choice! Just like being decisive about wanting a job will not mean that I will get a job.
My mom just uses the word "decisive" without even thinking about it. She just wants to scold me. And ugh does she make me mad.
That's enough for one entry. I'm off to download more Disney films on Blu-Ray. Hopefully I will receive some good news about the place, otherwise I'm not going to be happy.