chibichan: → harry potter (hp » deathly hallow)
Hello DW, hello wonderful people and hello journal! I hope you've all had some great holidays and Happy Belated New Year to everyone!

I cannot believe how long I've disappeared from DW. Every time I disappear, I go through a very bad vicious cycle. First, I write a huge catch-up post which burns me out from writing for a while (which is why I don't reply to comments – I really want to, but I'm just too tired and can't come up with replies to all of them – please don't take it offensively or personally). Then, because I'm burned out, I can't find the energy to write more entries. Then more and more stuff happens and I get super busy. Because I'm busy, I forget to post entries here. More and more stuff happens. Time passes without me even noticing. Eventually whole months pass without me even writing a single entry (which is what happened recently). I feel bad about neglecting my journal and not keeping up with people's journals. So I feel like I can't come back because of my long hiatus. I feel guilty so I keep away. More and more stuff happens, which would mean I'd have to write more huge catch-up entries. I get overwhelmed by it all and I don't post.

So I've decided to try a different approach. This is not a catch-up entry. I will write catch-up entries in the next days. But for now, I'll just write this post to say that I'm back, so there's not a lot of pressure on me to write everything that's happened to me in these months.

Also, there will be a small change in the way I treat this journal. As time passed, I've realised that I really missed writing here and that having a journal and writing things down is very therapeutic for me. This is the place where I can rant, vent, write my thoughts and my worries down instead of keeping them in my head, and once they're down, they don't haunt me anymore. It really helps me in many ways. So I've decided to go back to this little journal and keep updating it as much and as often as I can. But it will be mostly for myself, to keep me sane and healthy. I don't know how much time I'll have to read your entries and keep up with your lives, I might not comment much on your journals and I'm sorry about it. I will try, but if I don't reply to your entries and comments, please don't take it offensively or personally. I like all of you and I care about all of you – I'm just very busy and I will be using this journal mostly for therapeutic purposes. This takes the pressure off me a bit and will make it easier for me to post even if I do go on hiatus for a while. (That said, if I do get more time on my hands, I will definitely try and interact on your posts.)

I don't know how many of you still use DW or will read this entry, but I just thought I'd write this. So yeah, I'm back! And here's to me not disappearing - or at least not for long - this year. :)

June 2015

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