chibichan: → pocahontas (disney » come to you in pieces)
It's the last day of August. Somehow I feel like that fact deserves to be mentioned. August has been... a very peculiar month. Actually, this whole summer has been peculiar. I feel like I haven't enjoyed it properly, or, if I did, only for a brief amount of time. I went back to Italy for a month, but it felt less than that. I think the reason why is because Andrew was in Italy with me only for a brief period of time (5 days) and - this is going to sound extremely cheesy - I don't really feel like I'm enjoying myself and actually living life when he's not there. When he's not with me, I don't feel like I'm living, I feel more like I'm surviving rather than living. He's the reason why I'm happy, why I enjoy myself, why I don't feel like I'm wasting my days. Because that's how I feel when he's not around - like I'm just wasting time, doing nothing (even on days when I'm extremely busy). But even just seeing him, talking to him or giving him a kiss - those little things make my days so much better, because a day with Andrew is not a day wasted.

Okay, cheesy and overly romantic boyfriend rants aside, I was describing my summer, which has been weird. The only days I really enjoyed were those days in Italy when Andrew was with me. Being in Italy on my own was pure boredom mixed with frustration. Boredom because my friends were only able to see me a couple of days in the whole month I was there and I didn't even have a job or anything to do at all while I was in Italy (couldn't even look for a job, as there are none available, for anyone). Frustration because my parents were at each other's throats due to financial trouble, my mother yelled at me various times because her shop was not going very well (like I had anything to do with it) and me feeling irritated at my parents because I had to give up looking for a summer job in Scotland in order to come back home and see them, only to be slapped in the face with various financial problems (that my parents had told me absolutely nothing about while I was in Scotland), which left me wondering why the hell they had begged me to come back when it would have made 10 times more sense for me to look for a job in Scotland and earn some money of my own, instead of sacrificing that to come back to Italy to do absolutely nothing. So yeah, it wasn't exactly the best summer holidays I've had.

I guess I also feel like my vacation never really began, because I knew I had resits in August. The whole summer, I've had to read updates on Facebook from people from my course about how they were enjoying their holidays in *insert random location here*, or how they'd gone back to their home country to spend the summer there, etc. And me? I couldn't go anywhere, or plan anything with anyone, because I had resits in August - I knew that I had to be back in Scotland for those. Knowing that you have exams in the near future does kinda ruin your summer vacation.

And then there was the whole dropping out of the course, leaving uni, figuring out what I wanted to do (which I haven't completely figured out yet)... Yes, August was a month full of surprises and changes. Despite that, I liked August - if anything because it was very eventful. But I like change. And I really think this will be a change for the best.

I guess what I'm trying to say is... this was a strange summer. It didn't feel like a vacation; it almost feels like it never started properly (for me); it was a mix of boredom, frustration, choices and changes; and now it's over. Whatever these past few months have been, they were not summer for me; and now they're over and autumn is coming. And, for once in my life, I'm welcoming autumn. I'm ready to leave this summer behind.

It feels almost like New Year's. Some big changes are about to take place in my life and I'm very excited. It feels like a chapter of my life is over - a very unhappy chapter, as far as my degree was concerned. It feels like something better is about to come. I feel almost like a new me.
chibichan: → belle (disney » she belongs to fairytales)
Hello people and happy Easter! :D

I'm writing this entry from Andrew's house. My semester ended officially today, but since I had no more lectures after Wednesday, I've actually started my holidays a bit earlier. I am so happy to finally be on holiday! I have my exams relatively early in April (22nd, 25th and 3rd of May), but I only need to study for two of them, since the exam on the 3rd is just to test my ability to solve a problem question and the lecturer will give us all the materials we need in the exam to reply to the question. So really, since I don't need to revise for it, it means that my summer holidays will begin on the 25th of April this year! :D

I want to look for a job here in Scotland, maybe as a tourist guide somewhere (I do know three languages after all), so I can save some money for the next academic year. I know there are no jobs for young people like me in Italy right now, so it would be pointless to even look for one there.

I'm reading The Amber Spyglass right now (I'm halfway through it) and I'm enjoying it. I read and finished The Subtle Knife in less than a week and... I didn't enjoy it as much. spoilers )

I also watched Doctor Who last night. I haven't caught up with it yet (I'm still watching the episodes with the Ninth Doctor), but Andrew's family wanted to watch it, so I decided why not. XD I enjoyed it, but... am I the only one who doesn't like Clara? There's just something about her that really annoys me for some reason. *braces herself for angry comments from DW!f-list*

Anyway, fandom aside... I actually have something very personal that I want to talk about, specifically: my asexuality. cut for those who are not interested. i talk about my relationship with andrew, plus relationships and sex in general )

Anyway, I'll start a meme this month, so I can update my journal every day. :D Hope you guys all have a great Easter holidays!
chibichan: → hikaru (mkr » you'll be in my heart)
Hiya, guys! :D Today I went to the oculist and I found out something curious about myself. It looks like my eyes can see/read better when the lights are on in a room, rather than when they're off. My oculist said there's a specific scientific explanation for that (... I feel like I'm talking like Ema Skye from Gyakuten Saiban/Phoenix Wright, lol XD) - my pupil can see better when it's narrowed. (... I hope that's clear, I don't know the proper scientific term in English. XD;) Ha! Who would have thought. XD Thank goodness, my eyesight has not gotten terribly worse, I just need to wear contacts 8 hours a day and then go back to wearing glasses for the rest of the day. Not too bad. :3

Also, my oculist is made of win. XD He's a really funny man. He's always calling me things like, 'little lady' (signorina in Italian) and he's always polite and nice. He tells a lot of jokes, too. XD And he always tells me that I'm 'perfect', because I wear both contacts and glasses and I always do what he tells me to do. XD He's such a gentleman.

I do have to change glasses, however. This time I'm going to choose a pair of glasses that I really like, so I won't feel embarrassed when I wear them. XD (I'm so used to wearing contacts that I can't recognize myself anymore when I wear glasses, lol /fail)

On another note... CAN I STOP HAVING WEIRD DREAMS, KTHX. fandoms overload! )

And now... current obsessions meme! Since everybody's doing it~ :D Feel free to snag this meme, if you want to~ :3

15 things I'm obsessed with )
chibichan: → lucina (fire emblem » masked heroine)
So... I was surfing LJ the last day to overcome my boredom a little and... I don't even know how I did this, but I came across two Italian friends of mine that I met on a YGO forum last summer (and I hadn't heard from them since then)... and it totally made my day! ♥ So, I would like to welcome [livejournal.com profile] mapi_littleowl and [livejournal.com profile] sonia_sama to my journal! Here you will find mostly my ramblings about real life and fandoms, along with a good dose of fangirling and some memes once in a while. :D I hope you enjoy your stay~ ♥

the tale of how Chibi didn't get to meet her friends in the end )

This afternoon I watched a movie called Not Since You. Guess what. I cried at the end. ;__; I seriously didn't think it was going to make me cry, even though the plot was pretty sad... but the ending, it just killed me. And the actors were amazing. ... Okay, I admit I wanted to watch it at first just because Christian Kane and Desmond Harrington were in it. XD; But the ending. THE ENDING. I didn't expect it to end like that, so yeah... that was what got me the most. ♥ Great job!

Mh, it looks like I'm doing a lot of memes these days. XD This time I was tagged by Beth ([livejournal.com profile] mist_ball)! I won't tag anyone, because I really don't feel like tagging people. XD; So just snag this meme, if you want to do it. Here we go~

Bold the statements that are true. Leave the fibs alone. Then tag five people to do the same.

100 statements about myself )
chibichan: → ice cream (ffxiii » everyone is forgiven now)
The weather is so blah these days. IT KEEPS RAINING. It's been raining for three days now. D: It's probably gonna rain on Christmas, too, argh. Weather, why do you fail on me now?

On a happier note, I am in love with this song! ♥ I can't believe I've never heard of it, or of its singer before. Now I'm going to download his whole album and listen to some new songs (I really needed something new to listen to)! :D

And now, onto the meme! By the way, guys, I love all your comments on the last entry. ♥ I really didn't think I had so many things in common with so many people. You made me really happy. ♥

Ten Days Meme )
day three: eight ways to win your heart )

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